Steve Martin’s script notes on ‘The Passion of the Christ’

* Love the Jesus character. So likeable. He can’t seem to catch a break! We identify with him because of it. One thing: I think we need to clearly state “the rules.” Why doesn’t he use his superpowers to save himself?

* Does it matter which garden? Gethsemane is hard to say, and Eden is a much more recognizable garden. Just thinking outloud.

* Our creative people suggest a clock visual fading in and out in certain scenes, like the Last Supper bit: “Thursday, 7:43 P.M.,” or “Good Friday, 5:14 P.M.”

* Also, could he change water into wine in Last Supper scene? Would be a great moment, and it’s legit. History compression is a movie tradition and could really brighten up the scene. Great trailer moment, too.

* Possible title change: “Lethal Passion.” Kinda works. The more I say it outloud, the more I like it.

* Is there someplace where Jesus could be using an iBook? You know, now that I say it, it sounds ridiculous. Strike that. But think about it. Maybe we start a shot in Heaven with Jesus thoughtfully closing the top?

* Merchandising issue: it seems the Cross image has been done to death and in public domain — we can’t own it. Could the Cruciifixion scene involve something else? A Toyota would be wrong, but maybe there’s a shape we can copyright, like a wagon wheel?

(oh, and a Judas update in today’s Guardian)

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